When I planted one of Jack’s magic beans in my backyard, I was not expecting to learn chemistry, but here I am bored out of my mind still plotting how to meet a giant. But it wasn’t always chemistry. It was really biology and the magic beans caused me to grow taller. Oddly enough though, now I am shrinking smaller and smaller. Then, I looked up and saw a massive ant that started to carry me into the depths of its anthill.
My partner said they loved me but that doesn’t mean I love them back. We had an amazing conversation and I requested her on snapchat; she ate my last poptart, so murder was decided. I don’t follow poptart thieves on social media.
I was supposed to get engaged tonight but instead I’m crying into my pancakes after seeing that Facebook post. I went to Taco Bell and flirted with the cashier to feel something. All that resulted in was me getting an order of 20 tacos, 5 burritos, 6 nachos, and 4 pops that I didn’t want to eat. Instead of eating my feelings, my feelings ate me.