Juggling various relationships has been challenging over the past year. I love my boyfriend so freaking much. I am fully convinced he’s the one.
Something I did not realize when I was single was just how much time is involved in a loving, committed romantic relationship. The saying “give 100%” holds true when actively discerning the vocation to marriage. I should’ve known, since my parents spend nearly every moment together. The only time they are apart is when my dad is working. Yet, I was surprised to find that love truly trumps all. This has been difficult in maintaining and growing other relationships.
I am writing this piece with one specific person in mind: Alyssa. She has been my best friend since high school. I am going to pick her up from the airport today for Thanksgiving break. A few days ago, she specifically asked me if we could have some girl time…alone. She is single, and has been forever. I totally understand where she is coming from because I used to feel the same way about my best friend from college, Sadie. But now, I see where Sadie was coming from. When you fall in love with the person you see yourself committing to for the rest of your life, your priorities shift. This means when given the option to go on a date with my SO or grab a bite with a friend…more often than not I’m going to opt for the date with my man, or create a group setting so he can also come. Our mutual friend, Jenna, even asks to third wheel sometimes. Unfortunately, I realized that in some cases, failing to spend quality alone time ends up hurting those who mean the most.
My momma had an extremely difficult time when I started going to Grand Valley to visit Shane on the weekends. This had nothing to do with him. She was upset because I was spending more time with him than her. We were growing apart because I was no longer spending every waking moment at my house. Between work, school, the gym, and this fancy relationship, I barely had time to get a good night’s rest. Luckily, she has really warmed up to Shane, and seems to be ok as long as I call often to say hi and check in.
Now, we are thinking about moving to Chicago together after graduation. Imagine my mother’s feelings…she keeps saying she’s worried about my safety, but I know she thinks I’m straying from my family. My cousins are worried I’m not going to be around for big milestones (they are popping out babies left and right). Not to mention, my grandma is getting older.
As I get older, almost all of my friends have serious boyfriends. This helps because we are all loving people. We want to put a great deal of time and effort into growing in love with the men we see ourselves starting a family with. In fact, two of my closest friends (coworkers) and I started dating our boyfriends within three days of each other. We can support each other and give some great advice when things get hard. My lifting partner just became official with her man!